Hope is all you need :)

It’s my  8^th day of teaching in summer school today and every day has been like a unique experience. From getting the high of being loved by my students and all the excitement I see on their faces when they see me from experiencing the lows of not able to finish my lesson, waiting for a long long time  just to make sure everyone is quite and is paying attention to what I'm trying to say. Trust me it can get really frustrating. 

I always felt being a Teacher was easy…If I can work on Financials…make models etc…Teaching is like the easiest thing to do for me…but the myth has been shattered completely. I spend ard 2 hours making a lesson plan everyday…I end up researching like 50 different ways of teaching at school and then I chose one after considering what my students may enjoy learning this way. Right from figuring out how will I start my instructions to what rewards I will give them If they maintain discipline, answer correctly or at least listen to me quietly. I enter the class confidently…that yes today I will show the world the “art of Teaching”…n what happens is the exact opposite.

So when its time for me to start….I ask all the students to look at me..they don’t…then I try the new concept we learnt here “Attention Grabbers” which goes like “1, 2…Eyes on You” and ideally all kids are supposed to look at me..but they say it very well but they are looking somewhere else only…I am disappointed but its ok..I try again…I repeat the same thing like 4 times to make sure everyone is finally looking at me.

I repeat the rules for my class every day hoping that they will remember it on their own some day…and yes there are days when they show it but most days its heart breaking to see them doing everything else but following 2 simple rules which are –

11.When Didi is talking – you will only Listen (with actions)

22.Raise your hands quietly if you have any questions/ or if you know the answer

Now how difficult is that to follow?? Well..It is... in last 8 days I have realized its phenomenally difficult to expect that from Grade 2 students and this makes things really tough. Cos I as a person have this weakness…I don’t really have a very loud voice and when my class is just not responding I go Blank…I feel that m wasting their time as I cant generate interest in what I’m trying to teach them and obv they are not understanding a word. Like today…I had made an elaborate lesson plan and I could not even cover 30% of it. By the end of my lesson I felt like a complete failure.

So I came towards the back side of the class…feeling like a complete idiot…who cant even handle a handful of 2 nd grade kids n here I was thinking I’ll bring the change in the society…HOW???

Lost in my thoughts…I was looking at all the kids around me and there I saw this girl who was sort of in a similar mind frame as me…I felt that looking at her eyes…just not interested in what is happening in class…she was busy trying to put her finger in the door handle right beside her. So I decided to go sit with her . Her name is Bhakti. I asked her…”why are you not paying attention.” Bhakti responded - “Didi ghar jaana hai” and I was like ok..I asked her why…don’t you like studying..the obv reply came NO and I can totally relate to that…I never enjoyed studying as a kid n esp when I don’t understand a word of what the teacher is trying to teach.

I decided to help her with some basic math concepts…and we started with counting till 100. She did that perfectly…then we started with simple addition. Initially she was confused, but then we tried to figure out answers using some boxes…so when we had to add 2 numbers…we had to draw boxes and then add them…and this she enjoyed. So we started doing this for 2+4, 3+5, 6+4 etc. Then from there we changed the pattern and we started using our fingers and then we started drawing single lines to count and add. So by the end of it..she could do a 10+12=22 on her own and I felt so proud her.

In that one moment…I went from like feeling super low before I started talking to her to like may be one of the best feelings of achieving something. I was actually a little sentimental as I could feel that attachment with this girl…who was smiling at me know when I gave her a smiley for solving this problem on her own. Today I realized how proud teachers can feel when they see their students doing well J  and I feel this heartfelt thanks to all the Teachers I have had in my life who have lifted my spirits when I badly needed it…and when I say Teachers I refer to all those people who had been there to guide me…including my parents offcourse J, my friends, my husband, my family…who have stood by me and did not let me lose hope…they gave me Hope of a better tomorrow..they still do J

And today this little girl was that one person who saved me…I went ahead and spoke to her thinking I’m going to help her..but it was the other way round…she helped me come out of that gloomy failure mood to the one where I felt that I can still make a difference,.,..even if One child at a time..There’s still Hope J Thank you Bhakti!