I do not mean to dishearten the positive spirit of Women's day - celebrating a long way women have come in all these years - making their mark, standing up for their rights and making a difference to our society...I feel that I am really lucky to be born in this era where we have a chance...where we can make our dreams come true...we have to struggle yes...but its possible.

The reason I selected this image for today is because my day started with a very illogical conversation wrapped in traditions which apply only to women and post that when I saw all these messages about Gender Equality it all just looked like a "Happy Diwali" scenario where we wish each other one day and the next day is like back to routine....so like one day we talk about all of us being equal..feel good about it...get some goodies in office...some new initiative to better support women at work...etc etc...but then how are we helping the cause when we are not addressing the real problem i.e. discrimination...n if you happen to believe it does not exist well I suggest you google some facts..right from our homes to work places...its all around you...I'll give you one - "Women on average are paid 24% less than men globally for the same work and they spend more than double the amount of time than men on unpaid care and domestic work". It all starts from home.

I think I am lucky to not have a brother...cos atleast i didnt have to face any differential treatment at home with my immediate family as my parents never made me feel any less and I respect that the most about them...though there were always comments from relatives about my parents not having a son...who will succeed the family...support my parents when they grow old..etc etc...I remember fighting with my grandmother over this once...even as a kid it used to hurt when people talked like that...n I wondered what made them think that I wont take care of my parents??

As you grow up...you see the reality staring at you in different forms...and in India if you escape being treated differently at your parents place...just wait till u get married and you'll get an idea of what it means...and it is all done under the wraps of tradition that we dont even object to little things like for eg. when your husband comes back home...you are suppose to make sure he gets something to eat/drink....it is entirely possible that you both entered together or may be you came later than him after work...but will it be the other way round in that case?? I doubt it and I would love to know of cases which prove me wrong as that'll give me some hope :)

N we don't find these particularly annoying as we have seen our mothers do the same...so its good etiquette's as they call it..."sanskaari ladkiya" are supposed to do all this. its tougher for girls who do not work as even though they take care of all the domestic chores they are seldom acknowledged for their efforts and plus they end up listening to a lot of nonsensical traditional crap as they are not earning and should atleast do good things for the betterment of their families.

Moving on to work places...now another incident I remember when I was looking for a job around the time I was about to get married...I was asked this question " Since you are getting married now, you might also plan your family soon...so we do not think we would be able to offer you the hike you are requesting for" NOW...fine I am getting married...but who the hell are you to judge when and how will I plan my family..I may not even want to have kids at all...so let me decide...and this is just one example where being a woman your role is used to exploit your career growth...you get to hear similar reasons in appraisals too...and back home all you hear is...you should spend more time at home...you need to balance your work and family...you need to prioritize your family now since you're married...now is it only the girl who got married...the guy wasn't there?? Did i miss it...I think I saw him too??  so why give all the gyaan to the girl? I still haven't figured out an answer for this...I wonder If I ever will..

n how can we forget kids...right from discussing the topic of having kids to raising them...its all on the woman...you will have aunties you have never met advise you about how important it is to have kids...and why you shouldn't delay it...Imagine you being the centre of attention and random women talking to you about this...n then you just feel like telling them..you mind If i call my husband too...I cant practically get this done all by myself..can I?? :P but no...all the pressure is on the "bahu" to have kids..asap..n the moment you conceive...Ohhh...the real shit happens then...getting advice right from the way you sleep...eat..breathe...think...you have no life of your own..its all about the kid...and then people say its the most beautiful phase of life...reallyy???  The father has no role except paying the bills may be...that too in some cases is done by women themselves...and no dont you think that he will help you once the baby is out...how will he...poor soul works from morning till night...will he come back and change diapers...off course not...he may hold the baby once or twice when its cranky n ohhh he would be the most generous soul on earth to have helped his wife... no offense to guys who genuinely share the responsibility of  raising kids...but m referring to the notions we have in our society in general which are prevalent among most families I have come across.

There are still many more issues which I have not addressed here...but it all starts from our own families...I know for sure if I have a Girl in future...I will face a hard time making sure she does not experience any of this at home...n if its a Boy...it'll be tough for me to teach how to respect women around you and treat them as an equal because there are wrong examples all over the place...and kids learn what they see around...but the struggle will be worth it if I can bring about the change in the mindsets as I aim for.

Would love to close the rant with this really cool message I received from a friend in the morning today...which simply means screw the sanskaars which hold you back and live your life... not just for a day but everyday!